May 18, 2009

New Zealand, You Wily Minx!


Hello everyone!

I'm writing my first and only group email on the last day of my trip, from a very suspect Internet Cafe where the owners are currently embroiled in a verbal battle over the "legitimacy" of money transfer schemes stemming from African nations. Apparently one of the staff here has divulged her bank details to someone I deduce she encountered in her SPAM inbox.

So, today is the last day of my whirlwind trip to New Zealand, land of sheep, meat pies, and Asian foreign exchange students in equal measure. Many of you may not know that I'm in NZ, as I myself didn't know I would be here until a few weeks ago when Travelzoo tempted me with the best rates I've ever seen to this part of the world. Brian (boyfriend) and Matt (Brian's friend) had already planned their trip to NZ and Brian invited me along last minute, and who am I to say no when Travelzoo and Brian beckon? So, here I am, and the boys have just left to continue on with the rest of their much longer trip. Turns out the rates to NZ at this time of year are largely owing to the fact that nobody in their right mind would travel here in May. The weather is, how shall I say, brutal. It's been pouring every day - not a light mist, not a disappearing shower that you tend to see in Ireland - but straight-up downpours day and night for a week. The only upside to this is that there are a lot of rainbows, which would make for nice pictures behind all the sheep if you could in fact take a picture without ruining your camera from water damage. How you tease me New Zealand, you wily minx!

In preparation for this trip I put together some swine flu prevention kits, namely face masks, Airborne, and Purell. I was fully prepared to relocate to vacant seats on the plane if anyone in my vicinity so much as cleared their throat. Turns out that the only one suspect on my flight was me - I had a hacking cough on and off for hours, and I'm not gonna lie, I would have been VERY uncomfortable sitting near myself. I thought sporting my own protective face mask may have alarmed my neighbors, so I didn't take that measure, but I did pop cough drops at a rate that high school students trying to get high off of over the counter meds would envy. When I arrived at the airport in NZ there were nurses everywhere waiting to screen people for swine flu, and I briefly considered checking myself into the quarantine but thought better of it. I think I'm in the clear now - still a minor cough but otherwise alive and well.

Anyway. My trip started out in Nelson (South Island) in great form. I was befriened by a lovely older gentleman on the plane, Ron, who offered to share a cab with me from the airport to my hostel, as he was staying right down the street. Perfect! This may sound sketchy but I felt good about Ron, largely because he is a big fan of Wooden Boat magazine, which hails from Wooden Boat School in Maine, which is where Lew and James are getting married in a few weeks. At least I think I have those facts straight, right Lew? Anyway, this one detail, accompanied by the prospect of finding a sugar daddy, were enough for me. Ron and a very chatty cabdriver escorted me to my hostel, deposited me at the Sugarbread Cottage without incident, and Ron expensed the whole thing to his work account. There is a lesson here: when an older gentleman in a foreign land asks you if you'd like a lift the answer is yes!

Before Bri and Matt arrived to meet me, I had lunch on my own in Nelson at a pub. The lunch was tasty and fine and when I got my bill I couldn't help but notice that the waitress had written on the top of the bill a descriptor of me, presumably so she wouldn't mix me up with the group of three middle-aged business men also dining that afternoon. She wrote "Girl on Own" right there on the bill, which didn't offend me but which I found odd. I can only imagine what sort of little notes people find after enjoying a nice dinner, only to be slapped in the face with: "man with potbelly" or "woman with goiter". You really just don't want descriptions of yourself on your bills, it's that simple.

Some highlights from the trip: Milford Sound, a beautiful area you tour on boat. You're surrounded by cliffs on all sides, as well as what the Kiwis state are "waterfalls taller than Niagra falls" but which looks more like the run-off from very large porto-potties. Apparently the falls are technically taller, as the source of the fall begins very high up indeed, albeit in trickling form rather than the impressive downpouring of water our Canadian neighbors boast. Still, Milford Sound = lovely boat trip (buffet included, which always sweetens the pot).

Another highlight: Nevis Arc! It's a giant rope swing!



It's similar to a bungee jump, and is the world's highest swing. You're basically strapped into a harness and dropped over a canyon, hurled across a 300 meter arc, 160 meters high, on a 120 meter long rope. I'll tell you this: when you're standing on a rickety bridge over a canyon basic human instinct tells you not to jump into that canyon. It tells you to return to you van. The one saving grace of the Nevis Arc over the bungee jump is that, where the bungee jump forces you to hurl yourself off a cliff, at the Nevis Arc you are released by the staff. That helps. But, as the quote on the brochure says, "Even my sh*t was scared!" And that sounds about right.

Also cool: on the day that we were hoping to hike the Franz Josef glacier but clearly couldn't as the weather combined with the glacier itself would have lead to our imminent deaths, we spent an entire day in a local pub/restaurant (had all three meals there in fact) that was hosting a wedding reception of sorts that night. The wedding party didn't deem it necessary to rent out the bar, only to come on in and mix it up with the many non-wedding related patrons. Good stuff! There were blue and white balloons everywhere, arranged much like the balloon arch at senior proms, and everyone clapped when the bride made her entrance. I liked that.

Ok, I'll wrap this up, largely because a burly teenager next to me is playing mortal combat very loudly. This is not the first time I've been trapped in internet cafes with loud man-boys playing mortal combat. Romania provided me with plenty of exposure to that.

I hope everyone is doing well!
Liz

p.s. I have a sunburn, which might surprise some of you given the weather conditions in New Zealand. I managed to get a sunburn during my layover in LA, and I didn't even leave the airport! Just went outside to read for a bit. The LA sun is no joke.

p.p.s. When I get home I'll try to add some photos to this post - I don't have it in me to sort that out now, I have lunch plans to think about...